Doodles of my being

Meditative,pensive,reflective visions of my happy-weary world
a touchpoint of stillness,agonizing calm,with a roar of silence
a black and white mirage,a single strand of the sound in red
its beautiful,isn't it,when the flower gods decide to doom the bloom

Riding fast on a sighway,slush hits you on your mind,no cover
the faces of my incongruous pitiable earthmates,droop in a one lipped smile
they walk back too soon,before the world stops to run away from them,how funny
I call out my name far far into the emptiness of my full life

we think,we plan,we do and the do thinks ,the think plans,and they fail
do we then just do what is already planned,and then think of what we did?
the train of no coaches,moves on a snake winding soul,black smoke of real lies
I gave birth today to myself,life has stunted my beginning,welcome to my dawn

She is so,Am I hers?

I am sure,so is she
are we sure, need not be
what if that, what if this
will it work,will it miss

yes she knows,so do I
then what's wrong,don't know why
she may think,i may not
It's only her that I have got

I feel free, she seems sad
I am happy,is that bad
All i know,is what is now
I need her,tell me how

every time,when we meet
heart does pound,miss a beat
pinch her cheeks,when I please
happy sad,when she sees

closer I,to her own
every breath,of hers ive known
in her world,of tears and fright
This i know,I'm her right

Love-that four letter word

Its so hard to be in love, when you know what it brings
You will always know how it feels, but never know why
Is it all about the sensuous times or more when one’s alone
Why does one think so much, when all it needs is to be

I dreamt a life of togetherness, and I still do dream on her
Does one select his partner, or is it all ordained?
Are rules of the world in action, or is it the magic of the heart?
If its all about the infinite, why do we measure the path

Something dies when someone lives, that’s how its always been
Love does not pretend to be the God it is not, so never blame the game
But is it an end or is it the beginning of one, do we ever need to know?
It never makes mortal sense, but tell me another bliss

Is physical attraction a blemish on true love?
Or could even that be from the soul, it can, it is
Her life is cocooned by her stirrup of circumstances
Can’t one just express oneself, and hold that hand forever

Its sad to be happy when this bubble seems to cry
But somewhere deep inside, the referee blows his whistle
It could be a foul or maybe we have scored ,the Omni audience knows
The way to play this game, is to keep running ,running, just forget the goal

Beautiful child of Nazareth

A still night awaits a shining star
to reach a barn from Kingdom far
A beautiful child of Nazareth born
to rid this world of strife and scorn

The three wise men were there to see
Wisdom, Love, Compassion be
A beautiful child of Nazareth born
To light a smile in all forlorn

From the virgin mother for all to behold
A pure and sublime package of gold
A beautiful child of Nazareth born
To tell us all, God's here anon

and it is,what to say

smile in silence, when to cry
kill me soon, live in joy
i am gone, come again
in my life, you are gone

when in fear, pray to will
will she come, hate to lose
peace to die, hope to rise
someone here, all she has

run away, come here soon
i will miss, you will see
head in heart, soul in tears
you and I, you or I

shattered thought, shining eyes
smile in heaven, hell for me
wait for me, let it be
i am sad, happy less

so you know, why you are
when i am, who is me?
then and now, ever before
and again, only you

A few thoughts on life or is it?

Precious thoughts of final love, we have to let go
Like the life of a journey we enjoyed till now
When the final red light starts its sad trickling flame
That colourless piece of Time called Death, arrives

Beginning its last walk, He stoops to stand us still
Those beautiful little moments of old memories remain
Why then do we cry misting those sweet lovely smiles
Do we love when there are tears, and lie when we laugh?

We ask the maker a few questions on his plans
He built us a wall with the strength of wet clay
Why then does he always want only what we have
Does he know what it is to lose all what is mine?

She is and hence I am

I met her once,forever
It was a living dream
of love that moves in me
with her name in every step

She did what all I felt
in my desiring heart
and when I touched her self
I felt what all she is

When Time and Love unite
We need no reason more
To tell us why I am
The way she is to me

And in the end..

Surreptiously she approaches my pathway,blocking my wind
I set sail on a dream to neverland,far far away,close to my heart
She sat on the sail and steered me to her sinewy sunset
I felt her in that wind,stardust settles in, long after silence

Missing her moving into my sighs,missing her strumming my life
Wishing what all wishes do , moistening my crying smile,
A walk into the known , a step into her unknown, and thus a run in her mine
Memories are dreary milestones of the heart,smiling the sorrows of happier tears

The last time was our first in the first time of our last,
And when I sit on the wall of our death full of fears
Those bricks of stone,enclosing our happy sad Now,
Tells me of that day, when she came to pass,

An elegy on the death of Love

Thunder clouds gather ominously
as a wounded heart starts a tale of sorrow
Of how a soul , a beacon light, burnt the heart it held within
Old flame , they say..old flame indeed !! does fire ever soothe

Beaming on top of the world, a feeling which only the ecstasy of Love
can give
The steps we climbed on ,she pulled it down as her wont
Why , why does she always lead one up the garden of posterity?
where the weeds and thorns of selfish thoughts strike your every nerve

But yet again, when calmness fights a losing war
Those golden embers of a tender touch ,peeps out through the corner of
the heart
Battleships of Cupid prepare for a final onslaught
If I do survive, death for the elegy, five letters is all it takes

Farwell,Dear Heart

The beautiful blossom buds of spring
Flutter mine heart, what joy they bring
This lovely forlorn tale to sing
Where, O where do I begin

A fairy walked in heavens way
Of all she saw,O she held sway
When an empty heart did cross her way
She walked within, forever to stay

The poor heart, knew not what had filled
its yearning for a lifetime stilled
which way it looked , which way it willed
She stood , she gazed , she laughed to kill

A sudden burst came sweeping through
The pained heart , couldn't anymore do
She tore it wide ,and bid adieu
To a heart she wished she never knew

She and I, in this beautiful world

She said no to me, she said yes to none
I said yes to her and yes she heard it too
She said no to life, while I said no to no
I said yes to hope, and hope she does that too

I felt lost in thought, she felt I was lost
I did what I felt, and she felt what I did
Just once in life I knew, what first rains do to me
They fell like drops of tears, I only wish she knew

She told me where to look, and never told me why
I told her how to look, she never asked me why
I dared to dream her dream, she never left me once
And in her dream of mine, she’ll never see me hence

Thinking in Me

The eyes close in a murmur of dreams
The mind’s thought dart shoots through oblivion
Visions of past hopes, mingle with the recess of today
Tired and wounded, the snore of mendacity engulfs my world

An incredible potential being frittered away in the mundane
Garrulous speeches and inane time warps of mock fecundity
The Time rider is galloping at the speed of never
Stopping for no one, and sneering at my waylaid life

So many missed calls, and many more in sleep walks
Where am I heading, gripped in the vice of tomorrow
The sudden stillness of a heart betrothed to fear
I want to wake up and smell the sullenness of joy

Without her next to me...

She sat there right next to me, miles away
I was mesmerized by her tormenting touch-me-not beauty
And today, I feel drained,lonely,a shell without life

My music was muted, my heart strings uprooted
What blocked us from reaching out, was destiny's child
I knew that she knew, I cried and she cried..I know she did

For all my day's yearning was for those few moments of paradise
Her arms in my mine, my breath caressing the love buds on her lips
Its not that we are lovelorn young teens , without a care in this world

She lives a life very far from her being, she is but a figment in fate's cruel trick
While I live a life , counting the shadows in her eyes, seeing me in everyone of them
But when that moment sublime arrives everytime, the passion within erupts with her touch

Sitting there lost in the void of time, as the moments recede and my soul cries out
I turn to my precious and ask myself , I married you my darling, a long time back
I’m born again everytime you swim in my thoughts, and yet why do I wait forever?

When will this world know that my soul mate is only mine, I’m still-born , my angel, lease me my life

Instinctual Stimuli

Waiting at the doorstep, I look for survival

Another being had already fixed my appointment with destiny

There is a murmur of dry leaves being crushed with booted feet

It is Time, he has come for his daily bread

I step outside of myself to see who I am

I couldn't see me the way I was, I run away from me

The outstretched twines of Life's mezzanine floor engulf me

I run and run and run inside me , I stop and see my breath curse me

The ship is ready to leave, I can see his ship, He is cackling with sadness

I walk backwards, and see how much I have come from

The gecko sniggers at the pale thought which crosses without form

I am ready to fly, the parachute calls me in, I am going in now, before the after

Loveland blues

Walking down the sunlit greens
Love once asked me what she seems
To me she is a vault of dreams
To live in her my heart careens

And when that girl does walk my way
The angels waltz in sweet sashay
Eyes of mine she locks in hers
That heart of mine, her charm allures

Holding hands, we watch the sea
What have I ,than she to me
The waves of life are setting free
Those shells of love forever be

In her arms, I need not fear
For I’m her man, and all things dear
And when she all but twitch her lip
My soul does jump and miss a step

The dusk of sweet and salt romance
All it takes is but a glance
Love just loves the waiting game
but when it ends , it’s not the same

A cool blitz of memories

The wind once told me what she felt

When she touched, my soul did melt

Where she flows and how she flies

Hear my breath ,those smiles and sighs

Once she waltzed from a misty hill

I was lost in thoughts of will

This zephyr swept me of my feet

Soft though strong in feelings sweet

This lovelorn breeze ,beware ye heart

At a moment’s pause will tear you part

Don’t forget , that in the end

She knows no start, she’s just a wind

A Soldier's last cry-Mumbai 26/11

Huddled inside, feeling for a fellow human
I sat there distraught, steel in my hand, fire in my belly
I could see him moving in front of me, like an apparition
My finger had the power to make him meet his doom

A relaxed quite evening, munching on morsels , lazing on CNN
A nice dull listless newscast turned horrific, I sat up
Hotel,blasts,terrorists,fishing boat, Skoda, CT,all in a blur
And then it happened, the ringer of my future beeped briefly

Twenty four hours have passed, sitting inside my luxury suite
Surrounded by the richness of blood,gore,death and anguish
I went back to the day I decided to serve my nation
A bride in my life , a sniper as her wedding gift

White shirts, candles, peace marches and email chains
Supporting a cause, emotionally charged for those special moments
It’s all very fine, neither seen by the militant nor the minister
Diplomacy never shared my workspace

Orders coming strong, the Major says kill all
Politics coming strong, capture him alive
I will die for my country, for my unit ,for my honor
But the country is long dead,so what am I fighting for?

We were taken hostage on our independence day
What the white soldiers left behind , the Netas took over
Bombay is just a microcosm of our times
But my duty eggs me to save our land again

The final assault, we move into position
Sandeep,Hemant and a few friends have left
Yes I’m a soldier, guts, nerves and an unnerving faith
But my heart bleeds, for I am human too

Yes, we are going to kill them, save hundreds of people
Awards, glory, promotions and for some , martyrdom
But where are we headed, dear countrymen?
Back into the abyss of corruption and greed

Maybe I should have taken the IT route, yes I am an engineer too,
Maybe America and dollars , and yes , a Skoda and a house
Maybe I could have watched this all in my home on TV
And forget about it when Sachin scores a century

The time has come , no more reflecting
Time for action, I move out, aiming to maim
Have a hostage in front and the scum next to her
I had to take a chance, now or never

I wait for his move, a slip, a chance
Her life cannot be harmed, I know mine can
I used the decoy, saw his movement
Grabbed her with one arm, shot him with the other

My sub machine gun remained silent
As if a witness to the grim ordeal of my fate
I saved a life, I knew, and it wasn’t mine
The defence deal had sealed my life

I caught him by his leg , refusing to let go till I live
Slipping into comatose,eveything whirring past my mind
My home, my folks ,my school, those memories
our garden, my dreams, my childhood….the politics

Maybe we have corrupt ministers, no hopers in charge
Maybe our laws are outdated and we are mired in survival
But this I leave you with...It’s an honor to be born in the soil of my land
Let us fight till the end,Don't lose hope, we are Indians, be proud

Chak De India, 63 not out

Independence, the very word makes the air around me light
Sixty three years of solitude, struggle and days of cheer
Where are we? , where is the world?, are we ready?
Questions and thoughts, reverberate among the billion

Traumatic divisions, heart rending cries
Triumphant sounds of freedom at midnight
Bold faced youth and their dreams held high
A saint and an idealist , the pillars of our land

Do we believe in this concept called India?
Do we stand for our rights or do we denigrate our duties?
How much of our India, do you and I know?
Do the corridors of dollarland define our path?

I stand up for the anthem , but not for my country
I stand up for my cause, but not for my people
I love my country, as long as I am paid
Patriotism, have we buried your meaning?

The beggar wake up, from the footpaths of poverty
The ruler wakes up, not sure of his place in posterity
The family wakes up, dreaming of the child
The child wakes up, India is my playground

We did cross the barrier, the world sees my country
Did we cross that barrier for you and I to see?
Where is that feeling of my land, our home?
Good morning India, you may now rise

The migraine of being myself

The sad truth about cross eyed paths
Is the pain one pays when reason stops
We walk through blood as we see not red
But stop and cry at things we said

Down and out we feel some days
Angered thoughts and a tearful face
Sadness rides this mournful phase
The dance of gloom in many ways

Calmness ran on thorny roads
Gasping for a breath of sense
Why we fought ,this no one knows
Sorrow made its grand entrance

When dusk settles on lonely friends
We hope that memories of moments
Will tear that pall of hopelessness
and friendship glows in happiness

She was...

Desolation, the only gift left behind by death

She never will show her auburn face
again, she lives no more , her final breath
went passing by, my life stood still , just thoughts ablaze

A lifetime back I held her hand , or did she mine?
The tender touch of newborn love pervades as
she smiled away my pains ,I called her valentine
as though the saint will cure mortality, only Love does

As dreams went on and days went by
I grew ,she grew and so did that wretched thorn
in her , which no balm of man can cure or try
what to try , what is left , just tears and dust and memories forlorn

The song of true love

I bless the day I found you
when sunshine kissed my heart
Please let me be around you
Till death do us part

I hum the tune of true love
In ever-lasting song
one day i'll come to you love
And take our dreams along

I send you all my longing
For you and me in life
If you were my be-longing
I'll call us man and wife

Dramaturgy

Suddenly the pangs of grief engulf my being
Struck with the absolute called Death closing in
This useless shell covering my soul, starts withering
The time has come, the dark angel beckons me

Waking up with a spring in my step
With a soul brimmed with joy and warmth
I spring to life and run with the wind
I croon along with the melody of life

The old woman, the wretch that I am
Hunchbacked with horror, wickedness defined
I look at this pitiful world, a cackle escapes my cavities
I shriek and scream with sadistic delight

To be or not to be, that is my answer
The young prince of indecision, I am but mad
Born to my father, a prisoner of fate
I twist and turn my mind's demons

Who am I, what is he that wears so many masks?
Am I the sum or the whole of many parts
Now that I am I, let me share my secret
Oh! To be an actor, to walk and run and die on stage!

Once upon a life

She left last morning, moist eyes and a heavy heart
the skies opened up, as if the whole of my life was crying
She said goodbye , she said farewell, she said things I fear most
Her voice was trembling, my soul died that very minute

As I walk through the moaning walls of this town
as if the ghost within me had died once again
The loveliness of that beautiful visage , of that woman who was mine
comes near me , she reaches out ,as we walk hand in hand into paradise
As I open my eyes, she is gone, my hand goes limp, my life stands still

What were the last words she said to me, my ears only heard the song on her lips
Did she say she's going , or did she say she is leaving
Where does this quandary leave me now? when will my heart stop wanting her
I left her yesterday for the first time, I said hello, she said goodbye

My name is Happyness

Seemingly lost in the horizon, a cloud once asked my name
The pitter-patter of the early morning dew, was clearing the world for me
The whispering glance of the sun-touched cloud, kissed a smile on my face
"My name is Happiness", I said, "I want to bring my heaven to yours"

"But your world is so sad", said the cloud gloomily, with raindrops bursting in its heart
"What will you do there? You have no house to stay in your world"
"Oh!" I said", "that’s not true, dear cloud, it’s all within me to clear my sky
I can either blow you away, if I am strong enough ,or wait till you've cried ,if I’m patient enough!"

"But I may cry and cry and flood your lives with sadness, a deluge on your world,
the fury of my wrath, a symphonies of sorrow, then what will you do," asked the cloud,
"Then I will laugh and I’ll laugh with so much of sunshine, that the floods will dry very very fast
Or better still, my dear cloud, with my ring of sunbeams, you may never even near me again"

"But what about greed, lust and destruction, it’s not I who maims all the time," said the cloud
"That’s easy, friend cloud, I will teach you to heal, the heart that kills is not always ill
If you and I and all in my happy ring, can only make every heart sing
My heaven will be yours ,for now, forever ; Just open your soul, the song will follow!"

My friend, my own

Just like kids, imps we were
Holding hands, naughty grin
Every street, every song
Never once been apart

Teenage came, pangs and pains
Every girl, every lane
Sentimental tales of woe
Every dawn, change the world

Twenty plus, life’s amiss
What went wrong, work went on
Silhouette dreams of soft romance
Every night, rule the world

Trudging on, age has called
Every one, married soon
Company, where is she
Friends and foe called family

Middle life or so it’s called
Kids and clanging sounds of change
She is mom, they are cool
All at home, where are you?

Ashen hair, trials in store
Yes I have some called my own
Eveytime, calling home
He and she are going soon

After dawn , always dusk
Then I feel my wanderlust
Reaching out, you are there
Holding hands, naughty grin

Blind Sight

I am blind, you know, I cannot see the world

There is darkness at noon, oneness at night

I know that the world watches me, with pity , with pain

I just want to tell you all, thanks for the concern, I don't need any

Can you all hear the whispers of the world?

Can you feel the winds of love soothing your soul

and the raindrops in their rhythmic dance, can you hear?

I am only blind, you see, but you have closed the eyes of your heart

The only thing I see is the oneness in this world

Everyone is equal in my eyes, aren't they?

the pauper and the prince , the killer and the priest, look just human to me

If only I can give my vision to you all…..

War

On a dusty path, once walked with pride
a phantom moves in frozen glide

the twang of life with horror stilled
Hopes and dreams and passions killed

with tears of hate ,lie dormant souls
a life once lived , now jezebel strolls

A wisp of blood, a silent cry
tis War , sweet ones, wake up and die

The story of Rigdoo and Gimblegee

In the land of Gimblegee
A tiny fish lived in a sea
She smiled and waltzed there night and day
Finding joy in every way

Rigdoo, was her given name
And far did spread her rising fame
Every sea friend came to see
What tiny Rigdoo's charm can be

All the creatures big and small
always knew she helped them all
But no one thought that even she
Could help a blue whale's agony

Mekrook was a giant beast
all he did was sleep and feast
One dark night, the big blue whale
Just got caught in a fiery gale

Tossed and thrown was our Mekrook
Landed close to Rigdoo's nook
All the creatures fled in fear
Oh my god, that monster's here

Mekrook looked around the sea
this is not where he should be
Where's my home he cried and cried
He flipped and turned on every side

Rigdoo came to see this whale
She felt sad to hear his tale
Don't you fear my friendly foe
To your home we'll surely go

Let me think of where he lives
By the smell his body gives
He does smell of filth and rust
Oil, trash and stinking dust

Oh I know that human ship
Stealing every oil drip
Killing all our deep sea life
Papa fish and mama wife

Mekrook wake up we are there
At your seabed sad and bareI
f you want to live in ease
Human ship must leave in peace

Many many weeks went by
Mekrook was about to die
Rigdoo help me I'm in strife
This human greed now wants my life

Rigdoo could but only pray
To heartless beings what can she say
The land is yours , the sea is ours
Please let us be ,we need no scars

And behold, a magic day
The demon ship was on its way
All the sea folk danced in glee
Mekrook lived now happily

Our tiny rigdoo came to be
The sea queen of sweet gimblegee
And so we come to say goodbye
Hope we left you feeling high